Why is this happening?

Miscarriage

You are not alone; approximately 15% of recognized pregnancies end in miscarriage.

In the video, Sue and Stephanie share how happy and excited they were to be pregnant. The pregnancy was viewed as the long-sought answer to their prayers. Sadly, their joy soon turned to grief upon receiving the news that they were no longer pregnant; the babies had died. 

Sue shared that she not only grieved the loss of the baby, but also the hopes and dreams she had for the child.

Stephanie wrestled with guilt after being told she had miscarried. She couldn't understand why this happened. She questioned if she had done something to cause the baby to die. 

In time, their grief diminished as they found comfort in Christ.  Sue recognized that God was with her every step of the way. Stephanie found that believing and relying on God, gave her strength that she didn't know she had.

Your little one is safely in God’s arms. If you would like more information about Jesus and heaven, please click here

Here are some suggestions for helping a friend or loved one who has suffered a miscarriage: 

The following actions may be helpful:   
• Pray for them.
• Listen and let them talk about their feelings.
• Allow enough time to grieve and remember that everyone grieves differently.   
• Encourage them to remember the baby by creating a memorial.
• Reach out and do something special, such as phone calls, cards, meals, and childcare.

The following statements may be hurtful:  
 "There must have been something wrong."
 "You can have another baby."
 "At least it happened early on."
 "God must have needed the baby in heaven."

Women who have had a miscarriage often feel that they did something wrong. 
Please don't add to her grief by speculating about physical, emotional or spiritual reasons for the miscarriage.


Grace Notes by Philip Yancey

"No one offers the name of a philosopher when I ask the question, 'Who helped you most?' Most often they answer by describing a quiet, unassuming person. Someone who was there whenever needed, who listened more than talked, who didn't keep glancing down at a watch, who hugged and touched and cried. In short, someone who was available, and came on the sufferer’s terms, and not their own" (175).

Words to Live By

"In the multitude of anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul" Psalm 94:19 (NKJV).

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand"  Isaiah 41:10 (NIV).

Dr. Ron's Perspective:  

The loss of a baby through miscarriage is an emotionally traumatic life event that happens to many women.  The death of an unborn child is not only painful for the mother, but can affect an entire family. Emotionally, it can feel as if you are on a roller coaster. One very common reaction is grief, which can last for a very long time, even years. Shock, disbelief, guilt and depression are also emotions women who miscarry can experience. The best way to cope with a miscarriage is to give yourself permission to mourn. Additionally, it can be helpful to find a trusted person with whom to share your feelings rather than keeping them to yourself. Some women find it helpful to write their thoughts down in a journal or on a blog or forum. Finding supportive relationships is another way to make the process of grieving a bit easier to cope with. Finally, learning from your experience and encouraging others with your insights will also strengthen you on your journey towards personal healing.

Recommended Resources: 

Todd & Angela Smith Choose Life
 
 
I Will Carry You- Selah
 
 
Natalie Grant: "Held"
 
 

Real People, Real Stories, Real God®

 

 

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