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Marcia was abandoned at birth by her mother, a high school dropout because of drug addiction and was raised by her grandmother. Marcia’s mother and grandmother endured abuse, neglect, and addiction throughout their lives. As a child growing up, Marcia didn’t have a close relationship with her grandmother. Whenever Marcia’s mother came around, she was often high on drugs. Marcia would hear stories about her mother and felt embarrassed. Writing a poem and talking to herself was often the solution to help Marcia overcome any problems. Receiving professional help was not an option for her or popular among families in her community. Marcia started drinking by the time she was in high school, and by college, she was experimenting with drugs. Resentment was the primary reason for her behavior during this period in her life. Eventually, she asked God for grace and mercy, and He blessed her life with positive people. Tragedy prepared her to be a pioneer and a blessing to others. Marcia was persistent not to let her past control her destiny and went on to receive her Ph.D.

 

If you are struggling with dysfunctional family members, here are some points to consider:

• Realize that your identity comes from God.
• Recognize that we all endure hardships.
• Reach out for help. Find a trusted family member, friend or friend.
• Rebellion can bring pain for us and others, but God is always waiting with open arms and forgiveness.
• Reconcile differences if you are able to, but be aware that some family patterns may cause relationships to fail.

 

Words to Live By:

“Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh” Romans 13:14 (NIV).

“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things become new” 2 Corinthians 5:17 (KJV).

“So submit yourselves to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” James 4:7 (Revised Edition, NABRE).

 

Dr. Ron’s Perspective:

Everyone gets their feelings hurt now and then, it’s normal. Everyone feels the sting of rejection at some point in their life. That’s normal too. But feelings of abandonment are different. These feelings can be very intense and painful and take an emotional toll, causing harm well into adulthood. The loss of a parent through death in childhood, parental divorce or a significant loss at any time can cause abandonment fears. This can affect people in many ways. Sometimes, it causes people to be emotionally needy and overly attached to someone, even if the relationship is very dysfunctional and abusive. People cling to others because they are afraid of being alone. At other times, it can cause someone to remain emotionally detached and distant in adult relationships. People are afraid to get emotionally close because they fear the relationship will ultimately end and feelings of abandonment will be triggered. It can take time to trust people again. But remember, no matter what you face, God is on your side. And God wants you to have healthy relationships. Whatever you encounter at present, don’t give up. You are not alone. Keep pressing forward, and one day you will feel better.

 

Grace Notes by Philip Yancey

“No one is exempt from tragedy or disappointment – even God was not exempt.  Jesus offered no immunity, no way out of the unfairness, but rather a way through it to the other side. Just as Good Friday demolished the instinctive belief that this life is supposed to be fair, Easter Sunday followed with its startling clue to the riddle of the universe. Out of the darkness, a bright light shone” (114).

 

Recommended Resources:

National Institute on Drug Abuse

National Institute on Drug Abuse, College-Age & Young Adults

National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence, Inc, Signs and Symptoms

National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence, Facts About Drugs

 

Real People, Real Stories, Real God®