Marriage Restoration – Dave’s Story
In July of 2010, my marriage reached an all-time low. My wife decided enough was enough. She was more than fed up with the lies, betrayals, and negative attitudes brought on by my lifelong addiction to food. During the many years of our marriage, I was self-centered, negative, angry, and bitter; a person who only thought of himself. I didn’t care about my wife, her needs or feelings. I used food to escape my real feelings and negative thoughts. It was no different than a person who uses alcohol or drugs.
The final straw was when my wife caught me in another lie. She told me she was sick of me, my attitudes, my behaviors, and my lies. She said I disgusted her and made her sick. We were finished as far as she was concerned. She said that after so many years of false promises, she no longer believed I could or would change. It was several months before we even spoke to each other.
I was guilty. For all those years of our marriage, I had been a terrible husband. Now my wife was gone, and my life had reached an all-time low. I wanted to take my own life. The years of negativity, being a lousy husband and a food addict, finally caught up with me. But God, in His unconditional love, mercy, and grace, reached down to me and began the healing and restoration process in my life and our marriage.
The healing began as God worked through the counsel of close friends and my church pastor. At the end of our first counseling session, the pastor asked my wife to say three things she liked about me. She sat silent for a few minutes and finally said, “I guess he is a hard worker.” That was truly a low point for me in our marriage.
Slowly, God began to teach me how to be a Godly husband and father. I learned how to cherish my wife, put her needs first, and lay down my life for her. God changed my thinking and my attitude. He began to restore the trust and love between my wife and I. It took a lot of work on our part, but with God’s grace and mercy giving us strength and encouragement, healing began to take place.
Our life continues to have challenges, but I am so thankful that we have God. We have put Him first in our lives, and we have each other for support during the tough times. I can truly say that our marriage has never been better! I love my wife with all my heart. I cherish her and tell her how important she is to me. I’m truly thankful for the helpmate that she is to me.
We renewed our vows at our church for our 30th anniversary. In 2014, we celebrated our 31st wedding anniversary. My wife gave me a card, and on that card, she named thrity-one things she loved about me. I also wrote thirty-one things I loved about her. She is a precious gift to me. To God be the glory for the great work he has done in our lives!
Celebrate Recovery has helped me learn to deal with life’s problems without turning to food for comfort and to deal with life’s challenges in productive ways. Celebrate Recovery has kept me focused on how to be the Godly husband that He created me to be. I thank God for the great things he has done and will continue to do.
God is now using us to come alongside other people who are hurting in their marriages and to pour His love into their lives. No matter where you are, if you truly desire restoration in your marriage, God can restore it if you allow Him to.